So since the c-section I haven't been allowed/able to lift Erin. This has made it especially difficult due to her timing. She has started the "testing phase", where she is constantly questioning her and our limits. This seems like it would be a hard phase to deal with anyway (not to mention exhausting). But since I am limited in what I do it seems even harder. I know I'm doing okay with it, but just barely. I'm so tired in the first place that I get frustrated easier. I know she's still a baby, sort of (toddlers are babies, right?), but it still irks me when she doesn't listen... Which seems to be a lot. But I know as I get better so will these parenting skills. I'm sure if she knew the word she'd call me a bitch sometimes, which I'm actually fine with.
But I was sitting there with Paul as dada gave Erin her bath and thought, honestly thought about it for the first time in a long time, about how it would be with my MS. It's not something I keen on thinking about but it sort of hit me: this is probably what it would be like with a flare up.. On a good day, which makes me worry just a bit. But that is something I will deal with when it gets there.
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