Cell phone baby

I worry sometimes about paul's exposure to cell phone radiation. I know that sounds weird, but I've been thinking about it a lot lately. Now I don't really know much about the subject but it seems as if every article about cell phones these days is either praising some new technology or damning us all to cell-phone-shaped tumors.

I use my phone a lot around Paul, especially while he's nursing. After all; there's an app for that. I mainly use it as a timer, to look up things on the Internet, edit photos, write blogs, text, and check in on Facebook statuses during that time. These things keep my phone fairly close to his head. Now I did use my phone with Erin, but I did not have such a cool iPhone at the time, so i often just set the timer then put it down.
I think a big reason ive been a little freaked lately is because of the "Ryder" thing. This poor child is suffering from some advanced form of brain cancer and I can't help but wonder if it's from cell phone radiation exposure.

It makes me fearful. I try to put my phone down or at least hold it away from Paul while nursing now, but I have this nightmare where Paul has grown up and has this horrible thing that's cut his life short and he blames me because it's due to me using my phone around him so much while he was so young. I feel so guilty... And ashamed that I cannot use better will power to keep from using it while nursing.
Anyway, that's my rant for the night. Like I said, I don't really know much about the subject so I don't know how accurate my fear is, but sometimes the imagination wreaks havoc when it runs loose in my mind.

Odd happiness

I know it sounds odd (unless you read the previous post) but I look forward to the next time I get to nurse Paul on my left side. It'll be such a relief. **sigh** it's the simple things in life.

Duct, Duct, Goose

Ugh. Yesterday afternoon I started noticing pain in my left breast. By nighttime I knew I definitely had a plugged duct. The top of my breast was hot (not just warm to the touch), red, and rock hard along a distinct line. It was painful to the slightest touch. Before I went to bed I pumped an additional 3 oz from that side alone just to empty it after a feeding.
But that didnt help like I thought it would. It relieved the pressure but not the pain (the hardness had lessened but not gone away).
When I woke for paul's mid-night snack my whole body was in pain. My muscles ached like I had the flu, and I had such bad chills I felt like I was in the fridge. Both sides were engorged, but that was due to it being so long between feedings. My left was still very hot and very very tender. I went and pumped an additional 3 oz each side (6 oz total) before waking Paul to feed him.
When I did feed him i gave him the non-painful side first, changed his diaper and then gave him the left. I was in so much pain as I pushed the stopped up milk down the duct towards him. My body was still achy and my chills were increasing as I laid him back down to rest. I kept getting up due to not being able to get comfortable. After checking my temperature (97.3 f which makes me think our thermometer is very wrong its given me similar readouts on paul was i was sure he had a fever) I put a cold pack on and took some Tylenol. Eventually the Tylenol kicked in and my chills turned into sweats so I ended up sleeping in the recliner in the living room til Chris left for work.
I fed Paul again and "pushed" the milk out, despite the pain. I think that time must have done it. By the time Erin awoke I no longer felt as achy (a little remains, but I think that's due to the massage) and my temperature problems had almost left. That's also how I'm feeling now.
It's midday and I've started to get chills again and am trying to get relaxed so my body won't hurt. The pain is still in my breast but it's not hard, so I think it's more from me pushing on the duct while feeding. Hopefully I'm completely better by tomorrow.
Now I can kind of guess why/how this happened. For a while I've been getting such bad sinus headaches I thought my head would explode. The sinus problems eventually turned into a sinus infection. So when u took Paul into the dr for his breathing problems I asked them about mine, too. The dr said that even though I was nursing I should take Musinex D to dry out the sinuses. But to be sure and drink plenty of liquids. So I did, but probably not enough liquids because Paul became agitated when nursing. So to help my supply I started taking supplements (nettle root and fenugreek. At first it didn't seem like they were helping, so I started eating oatmeal at every meal. I should have checked but the supplements can take up to 48 hours to start working. I really think I mixed meds too much too quickly. But I was so afraid of loosing my milk supply and drying up because I selfishly (I felt that way though I know it's not true. But I feel that way when I put my wants/needs in front of my children's) wanted to take those meds for an easy fix to my sinus problem. I felt I should have looked for alternatives, but I now know these were the best choices.
I had had an oversupply anyway so I shouldn't have fought so hard to get it back up. I'm just grateful things are heading back to normal and healthy.

Biting

(post for June 31, 2011)
OMG! Erin bit me! And from what I hear I'm not the only one. She apparently bit Heather yesterday. I hadn't heard about it till I exclaimed "she just bit me!".
I bet she learned it at school... Or from the dogs. All I know is I didn't teach her that!
I was sitting on the pool's edge while Paul was asleep and Erin sweetly swam up to me. At first I thought "how sweet" when she put her mouth on my knee, "she's giving me a kiss on my knee.". But boy! Was I wrong! She bit me, and it took me a moment to realize what she was doing. I jerk my knee away and exclaim. Then I told her "we don't bite!" and put my foot back in the water. She promptly bit it again. And they weren't quick little snippy bites, they were tear-into-a-piece-of-meat alligator bites! I remember the look on her face as she looked up at me with a smile as she semi-cheerful my kneecap. Thank goodness it was a place that was mainly bone; those little razor teeth of hers would have really hurt a fleshy bit.
I am still in shock about it now (august 10, 2011) as I look back on the event. But she hasn't but anyone since (which is another reason I think it was at school, because she's been out on break for a while). I'm sorry if she did. It really shocked me.

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Cough cough gag

"cough, cough, gag" is the sound poor Paul has been making when he stirs today. I think it's his allergies but I'm not for sure so I'm going to call the dr tomorrow to find out for certain. He doesn't do it on a regular basis, just when he wakes.
Although just now when he woke for his midnight feeding it was a bit worse and he had trouble breathing too. It was very scary as I watched my baby gasp for air. I quickly undid his Woombie, even though I knew that wasn't the cause, and pat him on the back while sitting him upright. I know that's not what I'm supposed to do if he's chocking, but it was my first instinct. I hope I never have to use that training I got in the infant CPR class. Besides it wasn't like he was chocking on something, just chocking in general (which seems like it'd be a bit more scary).
I have noticed he is very stuffed up sounding and have been aspirating him a lot today. Hopefully this will pass without any significance other than another notch on my worrisome mom experience.
He had been sleeping nicely in his bassinet but after his chocking fit I figured that if it is to do with drainage we should prop him up a bit. So he is now quietly asleep in his swing while it is in the upright position. I don't like not being right beside him at this time of concern, but I know it is the best way for him to rest right now. and I need to get mine as well... Although that seems a bit hard right now with my worrisome thoughts.

Five by five

I've got to quit sleeping through my alarm. Granted these last couple nights I haven't, I've just been pressing "snooze" for an hour or more.
Yes, I set an alarm for breastfeeding. It's due to Paul's amazing willingness to sleep through the night. I've been wondering if the combination of the sway of the swing and warmth of the woombie make it too comfortable for him and that he night just sleep the day away.
I know that if I keep ignoring the alarm and let him sleep without nursing we will both be sorry. Today was another day he slept past 5 hours and it was really hard to get him to latch because I was engorged so badly. I need to get up and pump for a few minutes before waking him so that this is not a problem. But I didn't, and now I'll be up even longer because even though he ate, I'll still have to pump to be comfortable enough to go back to bed. Besides, if I get up when the alarm goes off I'll be keeping up my supply and not hindering it.

Nice night to nap

(post july 29, 2011) I have to say putting the kids to bed last night was like night and day, in a way.

With Erin I should have followed my gut, but I resisted to do so at first. I knew she was tired, but I kept dismissing it because she has just taken a nice long nap (from 4:30 to 6:45). That was really her only nap for today (I mean, she took one at school, but only for the last 15 minutes, and they had had big day with it being the last for the summer time. So I don't think that counts. We tried to get her to nap before then, but we were at nana's and then she refused to do so in the car.).
But it ended up after throwing her food in the floor and throwing a fit while getting ready for a bath, I just said "screw it.". I stopped running the water and realized what was happening. She was over tired (aka past tired). So I told her "alright, let's just go to bed.". She turned around and walked her naked butt straight to her room and called for beau. We got her dressed (it was nana and me), said te prayers and put her down. Immediately once we put her on the table to get dressed her body seemed to relax. It was as if she was saying "yes! I just want to go to sleep!". It made me feel bad that I hadn't "listened" to her earlier. But I'm glad she went right to sleep once she was in her crib.

Paul, on the other hand, went down without a peep! Okay, I am probably paying a bit more attention to his cues because I take for granted that she can talk and move around on her own. But anyway, I was just getting done with Erin when it was time for Paul to eat. I noticed that he was starting to grunt and sat down and fed him. After food and diaper change, we played just a little with Mr.Fan. I noticed he was starting to yawn and squirm so I got up and walked him around just a little before putting him down for a quiet nite. It was very nice.