Paul's schedule is all sorts of backwards! I mean, it's past 2 am and I still haven't gone to sleep... And that's after trying to from about 10pm yesterday on! I am not upset, like how I was when Erin did this kind of thing, I'm remaining calm. But I'm afraid of how it's going to effect me when Erin wakes and I have to watch the both of them alone (while still not able to lift her). I know I get real short fused when I don't get enough sleep so I'm going to have to watch it (because I know Erins at the testing phase).
Anyway, he sleeps so much during the day I almost forget he's awake all night and start to worry that he's not awake enough. He doesn't oversleep during the day. He's very reliable in getting his food about every two hours (a schedule he has set for himself, I might add). But then he goes right back to sleep. By the time the night comes I forget and think he'll continue this routine... But he doesn't. Urgh. It's so tiring. If it was just him it'd be different because i could rest when he does too. But with active Erin, I really need these few hours of sleep. Speaking of which: goodnight.
Showing posts with label time management. Show all posts
Showing posts with label time management. Show all posts
Friday, July 1, 2011
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Baby Blogging
I want people to realize I haven’t been blogging as much (a) because with Erin I haven’t had as much time, and (b) also because I have a lot in the journal where I’m documenting (mainly complaints about the breastfeeding). Not a lot. But emotionally a lot is there. And I don’t want to look back and remember those feelings… and I don’t want Erin to look at this later and go “wow, she really hated me.” Because I don’t. I don’t ever want her to feel that way. I feel like our bond is growing, I just wish I was able to be better at it and not in so much pain when we spend time together. I feel like a bad mother. I know I’m not but just let me vent it out. I don't feel like holding her close all the time, even though I really want to, because my nipples hurt so much it hurts to wear shirts sometimes. I haven't been talking to her like I should, because I'm sort of on auto-pilot. I want to be in the moment, but I'm always thinking ahead, like I always have.
I can’t tell when she’s hungry or just crying. I keep thinking that every time she cries I should just pop her on my boob, but I know that’s not the only reason she cries, so I don’t. It makes me want to cry. It seems like I can’t be around her without her being suddenly overcome with hunger. I am not a bad mother but it feels like I can’t be around her unless she’s hungry, and so she’s always in other people’s arms. That’s what makes me a bad mother. I’m not passing her off, but it feels like I am. I’m just the food source, but I want that bond that other people are getting. I want to spend time with my baby, and not just the feeding machine. I want to be able to hold her and have fun with her. I get so jealous of everyone else that gets to come and visit because she’s fine and fun with them. With me it seems all business “come on, lets eat.” I don’t want these early moments to slip away, and I don’t want to behoove everyone else the joy of holding and being around her. But I want my time to do it too when I’m not just holding her to feed her. Let’s face it, when the mother refers to it as feeding instead of nursing, there are some issues; Because you feed an animal, but you nurse your child. It's too business-y and I don't want that. This is my child and I love her... so very very much. I hate how these feelings creep in. I just need some "us" time, I guess.
I can’t tell when she’s hungry or just crying. I keep thinking that every time she cries I should just pop her on my boob, but I know that’s not the only reason she cries, so I don’t. It makes me want to cry. It seems like I can’t be around her without her being suddenly overcome with hunger. I am not a bad mother but it feels like I can’t be around her unless she’s hungry, and so she’s always in other people’s arms. That’s what makes me a bad mother. I’m not passing her off, but it feels like I am. I’m just the food source, but I want that bond that other people are getting. I want to spend time with my baby, and not just the feeding machine. I want to be able to hold her and have fun with her. I get so jealous of everyone else that gets to come and visit because she’s fine and fun with them. With me it seems all business “come on, lets eat.” I don’t want these early moments to slip away, and I don’t want to behoove everyone else the joy of holding and being around her. But I want my time to do it too when I’m not just holding her to feed her. Let’s face it, when the mother refers to it as feeding instead of nursing, there are some issues; Because you feed an animal, but you nurse your child. It's too business-y and I don't want that. This is my child and I love her... so very very much. I hate how these feelings creep in. I just need some "us" time, I guess.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Baby come out
"Baby come out!" Chris keeps saying to my belly. I know everyone is ready for the day LBG makes her big appearance. It's making me anxious as well. I think I'm ready... pretty sure so. I'm just waiting for it to all happen. I've worried as much as I can worry, and I've done as much as I can to prepare, so I should be at the right spot. (I think) I'm ready for LBG to make her first appearance into this world.
The question is: what to do till then? Just because Chris has decided, and I have decided, and everyone else has decided that it's time doesn't mean she has. It's gotten to the point it's hard to call anyone without immediately going "this is not an emergency" or "I'm not at the hospital". I feel bad everyone else is waiting too, but I know they're waiting for something super amazing and special... I just hope it doesn't hurt too much.
I know that it's going to, supposed to, because God has set it so, but... still. Anyway; the thing that bugs me most is not knowing. As dissorganized as I appear, I like to be a little in control. So I guess I just have to hand this all over to God and say aloud "Okay, this is in your hands. LBG can come whenever she wants."
That said and done, now what? Patience really is a virtue.
The question is: what to do till then? Just because Chris has decided, and I have decided, and everyone else has decided that it's time doesn't mean she has. It's gotten to the point it's hard to call anyone without immediately going "this is not an emergency" or "I'm not at the hospital". I feel bad everyone else is waiting too, but I know they're waiting for something super amazing and special... I just hope it doesn't hurt too much.
I know that it's going to, supposed to, because God has set it so, but... still. Anyway; the thing that bugs me most is not knowing. As dissorganized as I appear, I like to be a little in control. So I guess I just have to hand this all over to God and say aloud "Okay, this is in your hands. LBG can come whenever she wants."
That said and done, now what? Patience really is a virtue.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Classes
Chris came with me today to both classes. It was his scheduled day off to do so, so I'm glad he decided to go to both. Originally he was only going to be going to the St. John's class, but he decided to go to the Pregnancy Resource Center with me. I think he wanted to see what it was all about. Which was good, because now he has an idea of it, and we both like it a lot. I think after I'm done with all my classes there (which will be about a year) I'd like to volunteer there. The people are really sweet and caring.
Today's lesson at PRC was on newborn care. Chris can be a trouble maker and started laughing hestarically at parts of the video. It was good because it made me relax a little. I'd been treating it like a lecture class, and really set into it, taking down notes and what not. But with him there laughing I couldn't help but giggle myself. It was good to loosen up. I think he's so ready for LBG to be here he's just getting anxious now, which makes him a little bit of a twerp. But that's besides the point. We finished the lesson and I showed him around the little place. Our instructor that day was not my normal instructor because I thought I was supposed to go in at 1, but it was actually supposed to be 3. But they went ahead and took me at 1, which was nice of them. But she has the same last name as us, so we talked for quite some time about that (and the fact that her husband's name is Chris as well), and some other things (like financial peace... Dave Ramsey should pay Chris for how much he talks about and promotes it!).
Anyway, today's PRC class covered nursing, diapering, and bathing. I don't remember the bathing part as much as the other parts, but that's due to the fact that Chris made fun of the other parts a lot more than the bathing. Little twerp, I love him.
And tonights class at St. John's - Owasso was Safe Start. I reccomend it. It covered things like car seat safety, shaken baby syndrome, and infant CPR. It was also supposed to cover swaddling, but I don't think the nurses remembered that (so we wrote it down on the evaluation as a reminder). It was a good overall class though.
We started with the CPR and that actually went by really fast. It was kind of odd at first, but we had a video and had to do it on a manequine. It wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be since everyone else was doing the same thing at the same time.
Then we watched a video on SBS, very sad. There was a lot of paperwork in our file folders for us to go through. A lot on poison and such. On eof ht ethings they talked about and showed us was the contents of your purse and/or diaper bag can be very dangerous. So you have to think about what you're putting in your bags cause baby will get into it.
The last thing we did was check out the car seats. We had to actually take it into the class so they could go over it with us. Chris was getting antsy again (I guess he thought he'd been a "good boy" for too long) and started playing around. But he's got the seat figured out and had the manequine strapped in it good and tight before the nurses told us to do so.
Like I said, they were supposed to talk to us a little about swaddling, but never got to it. But another couple there started talking to us about it a little. There's this book and DVD by some guy (can't remember the name) called "the happiest baby on the block" that's supposed to be really good about teaching you how to swaddle and calm the baby down real quickly. So when Chris and I got home we looked it up and ordered the DVD on Netflix (ah, such greatness is Netflix!). It should be coming when we send our next DVD in. It'll be interesting to see what the guy says on it.
Anyway, that's about it for the classes. I'm glad I'm doing them. I just wish I had scheduled them better. So take my advice: the hospital classes should be taken when you're in your 7th or 8th month, not the 9th! Also if you go to the resource center; start durring your first trimester, because they'll start you out there, and you'll have plenty of time for all the classes. I feel a little crammed with my schedule now that the due date is upon us.
Today's lesson at PRC was on newborn care. Chris can be a trouble maker and started laughing hestarically at parts of the video. It was good because it made me relax a little. I'd been treating it like a lecture class, and really set into it, taking down notes and what not. But with him there laughing I couldn't help but giggle myself. It was good to loosen up. I think he's so ready for LBG to be here he's just getting anxious now, which makes him a little bit of a twerp. But that's besides the point. We finished the lesson and I showed him around the little place. Our instructor that day was not my normal instructor because I thought I was supposed to go in at 1, but it was actually supposed to be 3. But they went ahead and took me at 1, which was nice of them. But she has the same last name as us, so we talked for quite some time about that (and the fact that her husband's name is Chris as well), and some other things (like financial peace... Dave Ramsey should pay Chris for how much he talks about and promotes it!).
Anyway, today's PRC class covered nursing, diapering, and bathing. I don't remember the bathing part as much as the other parts, but that's due to the fact that Chris made fun of the other parts a lot more than the bathing. Little twerp, I love him.
And tonights class at St. John's - Owasso was Safe Start. I reccomend it. It covered things like car seat safety, shaken baby syndrome, and infant CPR. It was also supposed to cover swaddling, but I don't think the nurses remembered that (so we wrote it down on the evaluation as a reminder). It was a good overall class though.
We started with the CPR and that actually went by really fast. It was kind of odd at first, but we had a video and had to do it on a manequine. It wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be since everyone else was doing the same thing at the same time.
Then we watched a video on SBS, very sad. There was a lot of paperwork in our file folders for us to go through. A lot on poison and such. On eof ht ethings they talked about and showed us was the contents of your purse and/or diaper bag can be very dangerous. So you have to think about what you're putting in your bags cause baby will get into it.
The last thing we did was check out the car seats. We had to actually take it into the class so they could go over it with us. Chris was getting antsy again (I guess he thought he'd been a "good boy" for too long) and started playing around. But he's got the seat figured out and had the manequine strapped in it good and tight before the nurses told us to do so.
Like I said, they were supposed to talk to us a little about swaddling, but never got to it. But another couple there started talking to us about it a little. There's this book and DVD by some guy (can't remember the name) called "the happiest baby on the block" that's supposed to be really good about teaching you how to swaddle and calm the baby down real quickly. So when Chris and I got home we looked it up and ordered the DVD on Netflix (ah, such greatness is Netflix!). It should be coming when we send our next DVD in. It'll be interesting to see what the guy says on it.
Anyway, that's about it for the classes. I'm glad I'm doing them. I just wish I had scheduled them better. So take my advice: the hospital classes should be taken when you're in your 7th or 8th month, not the 9th! Also if you go to the resource center; start durring your first trimester, because they'll start you out there, and you'll have plenty of time for all the classes. I feel a little crammed with my schedule now that the due date is upon us.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)